So far for this project, we have only gotten to work on the evaluation part. We followed the outline for the evaluation that is posted under the ‘Project 3’ tab on the class blog. We got to the bullet point that says we are supposed to talk about the issue of the community and the ‘larger conversation’. What exactly is the larger conversation? (just a general question for Mrs. Jankens)
- Questions for Group: We are supposed to talk about relevant key definitions and a question i had was if we had any key definitions. I couldn’t think of any and wouldn’t imagine there are a lot because our topic is relatively straightforward. I was thinking about this because it would be good to define as much as we can to make sure our audience knows exactly what our topic is.
- Questions for Mrs. Jankens: I was confused about the evaluation because it said that the bulk of that evaluation was supposed to come from that one bullet point but i wasn’t sure what exactly what we write about. So far for this section, all we included was the closing times of places that were available around campus that allowed students to use their meal plans. Can we also include statistics in this section of Wayne State University about how it is becoming more of a non-commuter school or does that go somewhere else in the evaluation? One other question i had was about the proposal? Are we allowed to only have one solution? If there possibly are two solutions, can we include both or should be write about the best option? I was thinking about these questions because there could be multiple ways to fix our issue.
Brown, Lora Beth, Rachel K. Dresen, and Dennis L. Eggett. “College students can benefit by participating in a prepaid meal plan.” Journal of the American Dietetic Association 105.3 (2005): 445+. Academic OneFile. Web. 24 Oct. 2013.
“Dining Hall and Retail Operations Hours.” Michigan Housing. The Regents of the University of Michigan, 2013. Web. 28 Oct. 2013.
“Dining Hall Options – Housing – Wayne State University.” Dining Hall Options – Housing – Wayne State University. Wayne State University, n.d. Web. 28 Oct. 2013.
“Meal Plan Options – Housing – Wayne State University.” Meal Plan Options – Housing – Wayne State University. Wayne State University, n.d. Web. 28 Oct. 2013
“SPARTY’S HOURS.” Michigan State University Culinary Services. Michigan State University, n.d. Web. 28 Oct. 2013.
Williams, Lauren. “The meal plan: how savvy administrators make strategic derisions about the whore campus dining experience–because meal planning isn’t just about the food.” University Business Sept. 2013: 42+.Academic OneFile. Web. 24 Oct. 2013.
Throughout my I-Search process, i was satisfied with what i found out. After doing all of my research, i felt like i had a solid answer to my question. I found out many different characteristics that are used to differentiate players and that is exactly what i wanted to find out. A question that i was left with though was how can players improve to be like superstars? I found out many aspects like speed, strength, hang time, athleticism, and defensive ability but how does a player go about in improving these aspects? I was going to put this in my conclusion but i figured it wasn’t too important because some of the aspects like coaches, lengthy hands, or being tall are not necessarily things some one can improve in a offseason, for example.
What influenced my writing throughout the course of this paper was the peer response we did in class and also other people that i told my topic too. The peer response in class helped me identify a lot of stuff that was irrelevant. Anyone who read my paper crossed out some information that was either not needed or was repetition. After going back over my essay, i realized i did have a lot of repeated information. Other people helped me write my essay as well; it was like they were writing it for me. When i told people (NBA die hard fans) about my question, they exploded with information that really helped me include only the important parts of the articles I read.
My meeting with Mrs. Jankens was very helpful. I was able to develop a layout of my research so i knew what i was going to do at each step along the way. I was also able to fix up some small grammatical errors and some wording issues. Some questions i asked about were about the requirements of the essay like if we had to have an interview. I wasn’t 100% at this point if i was going to be able to connect with someone and get an interview done so i wanted to clarify that. Another question was about the layout of the essay. I asked whether i should keep a long quoted paragraph from the article or explain each sentence by sentence and got her professional opinion which i ended up using.
One reading that influenced my writing process was Peter Elbow’s article about reading aloud your essay. When i read aloud my essay, i noticed more mistakes than i did when i read it to myself in my head.
As a learner of this class, i would describe this as someone who pays attention in class and actively participates in discussions. A learner’s job in this class is to listen to what other people have to say their essay and also give feedback on other people’s essay. Receiving feedback allows you to improve your essay and giving feedback enforces recognizing the types of errors you shouldn’t make. A learner also should participate in the activities we do like the activity of combining sentences. I see the role of a learner as this because the goal of this class is to improve your writing ability. Also, this class is heavily based upon what we write and discussions in class.
I feel like i have overall improved at editing and revising essays by doing this essay. I learned to stay on topic and remove things that are not needed. I even recognized small grammar errors more often. Before this class, i haven’t written an essay since junior year of high school so i feel like this essay helped me get back into the groove of writing a structured essay about a specific topic. I feel like i have become better at the research learning outcome. I learned to use the Wayne State library and databases to find scholarly articles in almost an instance.
Peck, Flower, and Higgin’s argument includes the concept of community literacy, which they define as a search for an alternative discourse. They talk of a Community Learning Center in Pittsburgh that helped the community there develop public connection and conversation. They argue that community literacy creates equity between the university and the community through learning, writing, and speech practice. Discourse is used in their argument to refer to language and the available roles, motives and strategies that support a transaction. They propose 3 different discourse visions including cultural literacy, literacy of social and cultural critique, and community literacy. Cultural literacy would minimize difference within a community. Literacy of social and cultural critique addresses issues of power and social relationships among the community. Community Literacy supports social change and intercultural conversion, provides a strategic approach for decision-making and lastly, inquiry of conflicts, assumptions, and practices between communities. They argue that this doesn’t just involve bringing together different people but to study their assumptions and beliefs.
Some community-based collaborative projects for Project #3 could include tutoring elementary school students. There are many elementary schools in Detroit that offer tutoring and we could tutor kids on math, english or science. Another community-based collaborative project could include landscaping for a public areas around Detroit. I went to Redford Public Library to volunteer for landscaping and a group of us really turned the place around. For this project, we could volunteer for a similar activity and write about what we did to help out and what was required.
- I actually like the way my essay sounds. The main reason I like the way it sounds is because in the sections where I analyze the knowledge I got from each source, it actually sounds as though a sports analyst could have said. I included basketball terminology but I wasn’t sure if this was a good thing. On one side, it adds to the voice of my essay but on the other hand, people who are not too familiar with basketball won’t understand some things I said.
- When reading aloud my essay, I noticed some things I didn’t think sounded right. An example of this was a couple sentences that were in passive voice. I changed a lot of these sentences to active voice just because it sounded a little better.
- The essay sounds like academic me. It sounds like every other essay I’ve written. I actually wish it sounded a little like a debate of back and forth facts of LeBron vs. Michael so I might change the orientation of some sentences to see how it sounds.
- While I was writing my draft, I got carried away with watching YouTube videos of NBA stars. In these videos, a lot of sports analyst would talk in the background while highlights are showing. This is partly why my essay has a lot of basketball terms. Also while I was writing my essay, I told my friends about my topic and they started arguing about who the best player is so this actually gave me some stuff to write about as they were arguing.
- Other things I noticed in my essay while I read it aloud were irrelevant sentences. For me, it was easier to notice unnecessary information because I noticed the subject switch. For example, on the first page, I talked about how I bought NBA 2k video games and how these games ranked players. I actually decided to remove this part of the essay because I didn’t think it was too necessary. This helped to cut down some of my essay. In my revision process, I plan on reading over my essay multiple times and seeing what is really relevant. All three people that read my essay in class said that I was repetitive in some areas and may want to cut some things down.
Peter Elbow’s article was about how our mouth and ears help in the process of revising any piece of work. I realize that many things it says in the article are actually true. When I read my essay aloud, things that sound funny are easily recognizable, just as it says. It is easier to make things sound like ordinary speaking language after reading it aloud. For example, i had a sentence that read “these players were the ones that would facilitate the offense” and i thought this sounded way too professional so i changed it to “these players were the ones with the ball most often.” Also, Elbow mentions that the “ear is good at hearing the annoying clang of repetition.” I also found this to be very true because when I read my essay, I noticed that I used the word “improve” a lot. I used it multiple times and I started to notice it so I changed one to “better” and another one from “improving” to “becoming a better self.”
Connecting to Fulwiler’s article, there is no discourse community that i could identify to describe my writing. Fulwiler writes that he also can’t identify any but his discourse community usually determines the topic of his writing. Fulwiler analyzed a couple of his private and public writings to try and find his voice. This essay has the same voice as others that i have written but it is has a different voice from something i may write to a friend in a text, a letter, or in person.
After learning about using the library research tools, i decided to look for some information on my topic using the databases. I accessed the CQ Researcher and Gale Opposing Viewpoints Databases through the English Research guide. On both of these databases, I browsed for topics but couldn’t seem to find much. CQ researcher had a “Arts, Culture, and Sports” tab but there was nothing about basketball. I then went to the Academic OneFile database and used the advanced search. At first, i included the keywords “Professional Basketball Players” & “Good players” and didn’t find much important stuff. I knew it was unimportant because when i read through few of the articles that came up, it was mainly about statistics of NBA players and just news of the different moves NBA teams have made over the summer. I went back to the advanced search and put in the keywords “NBA players” and “superstars” and this is where i found some useful information. I found a couple news article debates on which players are better than others. It lists things i need in my paper like the types of characteristics of players and what they do to improve.
ACTIVITY 2.1 – Ten different genres i read include the Biology Textbook, Powerpoint Lecture Slides for Biology, text messages, e-mail messages, Calculus Textbook, Nutrition Labels on various foods, The synopsis on the back of video games, online articles like yahoo articles, NBA News articles, and various flyers around campus.
The biology textbook is not an easy read. The way i read this book is by sitting down with my laptop and having dictionary.com open. I get ready for big words to look up. I look for bolded words because this usually indicates an important key concept. I also re-read because usually i get confused the first time so i read it back slowly. I look for pictures as a guide to help explain the content.
Reading text messages is completely different compared to formal textbooks. Reading text messages from a friend is usually short little sentences or 1-2 word replies. In texting, a lot of people use acronyms for everything. When i read text messages, i read these acronyms as acronyms. What i mean is that if someone says “lol”, i read it as “l-o-l” and not “laugh out loud”. When reading texts, acronyms usually automatically register in my head as what they stand for even though i don’t read them like that.
The Calculus textbook has a unique language because it is a math textbook. When reading that, i get ready for symbols and a bunch of numbers instead of big words. There are specific math phrases that i say in my head like instead “x to the power of 2” i just read it as “x squared”. In addition, even though some things are abbreviated like “lim”, i still read them as the full; “limit”. When opening this book, i don’t read everything but only the problems that were assigned; i skip straight to the problems i am only required to do.
Activity 2.3 – A group that i belong to is my friend group which is usually the group that i used to do any sort of activity with. Some words that people in the group use is ABCD, “down”, “ball”, and “PCEP”. ABCD was the name of our group when we performed a dance so now when we want to talk about something that is about all of us, we just say ABCD instead of each individual member. The reason we use this is just because it is an easier way to reference all of us. “Down” is in our vocabulary book is that you want to do something. For example, someone might say “Are you down to go to his house” which means “do you want to go to his house”. I don’t know why we say this but i think we got it from a movie and started saying it just because it sounded cool. “Ball” is another word for basketball. If someone asks to play ball, that usually means that they want to play basketball. The reason we say this is just because basketball is almost all of our favorite sport so basketball comes to mind even if you just say “ball”. PCEP is the schools we went to. It stands or Plymouth Canton Educational Park but PCEP is an acronym that says that we went to the 3 school campus. Really, these words all have a common reason; to describe we’re lazy and don’t feel like typing/saying the full saying.